9-9-11- On days like today I would rather sleep through it. In fact, earlier I contemplated sleeping for the next 3 days. But, here I am...awake. Being aware of my thoughts and moods as they swing back and forth and hit their head against the wall and fight off toxic waste at the river bank is part of the problem.
     One second I'm on the verge of happiness the next resisting the knocks at my door from traveling life suckers of anger, sadness, resentment. Though I may be a little tired and irritated from having to answer the door to those thoughts that would like to take up residence in my being, I am able to confidently say, "No thank you, I don't need you."
     I know this is not just about the first knock on the door when I was told Bruce had been killed. This is about all the years after; part of the result of wounded thinking that took up residence, that paved roads to destruction in my brain paths. This is about restructuring over 3 decades of the loss of self and the thoughts that serve to create health, love and prosperity.
    There are times I may be battle weary from skirmishes on the inside-- but I know who will win.
    Here's the deal; the bottom line. On September 11, Bruce and Glenda died. There is nothing I can do to bring Bruce back to this earth or change the years I lived among the walking dead. However, today is all there is. Today I see his accepting smile in my hearts eye and I know Glenda has the courage to walk on one step, one day at a time.

 


Comments

Shirley Butler
09/09/2011 2:07pm

Glenda I know you have the strength to take it one step at a time. It's not easy this I know, however, I have faith in you and please feel free to send me message anytime.....even just to vent, rant or rave....please I'm here and this book is helping. I soooo identify.

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